But sometimes the nagging fears keep knocking, the ego keeps telling me I am mad making a big mistake, echos of ‘You’ll be Sorry’ ringing through my brain. So, we had the house viewings on Friday and Saturday, and afterwards I took a little tour of our beautiful home. John was off to the airport to collect our friend Manny who had flown in from Bordeaux (our first planned stop) so the house was perfectly quiet. Quite unexpectedly I found myself at the midpoint of our hallway ( I can hear Kermit singing), in floods of tears.
I realised that having just shown a couple round that had an expanding family and so needed a bigger house, that I was very much in mourning for this stage of my life. I loved having my children, they are my proudest achievement, and when they were young it was one of the happiest times in my life, albeit one of the hardest!
Well, not long to ponder, our friend soon arrived and we all headed off to the Mind, Body Spirit festival.
We had planned to see Robert Currey, an astrologer we enjoy following who had done a cartography report he was going to talk through with us. I think Manny found the whole thing mildly amusing, but I’m sure she enjoyed the spectacle of Gorton Monastery none the less, even if it doesn’t match up to the beautiful St. Emilion churches!
Anyway, as it turns out, Greece is the perfect place for us. A lot of what we already experienced was that John, who had been terribly stressed with work up until recently, was able to have the best night’s sleep there, and it was nothing to do with the Ouzo!
Apparently, John and I are highly driven people, and we don’t need the added stress that challenging lines bring. So that was great news, now just my mothering instincts to deal with and life would be sweet.
Next stage of the day, Becky Walsh, an intuitional stand-up, and yes there is such a thing. I still have to review the voice recordings, but essentially she pointed out that leaving my children to sort their own lives out (now that they are grown) is the kindest gift I could give them. It is the removal of all the guilt to produce grandchildren and live life my way. Bringing John’s daughter into our lives has been difficult for everyone, they have all had a lot to deal with, not least Ruth. But deal with it they have, much to my utter admiration, I now feel they are all family for each other, and our guidance can become a little more distant. Besides, our future family will love visiting us wherever we settle, and playing in the pool no doubt, so onwards and upwards… Yiamas!